If: Motivation feels necessary, Then: try this

You feel stuck. You have a list of work to do. If you're feeling anxious, chances are most of that list is only in your mind. You'd probably write it all down but if you did take that step, you would be approaching the tasks that are making you feel anxious in the first place. That feels like it might make the anxiety worse. This is the trap you're stuck in: You're feeling anxious about feeling anxiety. 

Your current strategy is "memory-feeling-work". You hold it all in your mind, wait until you’re feeling motivated, start working. You might believe that “If I didn’t have X, then I’d be able to do Y."  Maybe the problem isn’t your ability to implement this MFW memory-feeling-work strategy. Maybe it’s the strategy itself. 

You won’t get motivated until you feel like getting motivated. So, how are you supposed to get motivation? You would have to get motivated to get motivated. How is that meant to happen? That's like sitting in the cold and refusing to start the fire until you feel warm enough to get up. Warmth arises because of your actions, not your wishes of feelings. Likewise with motivation. 

Quiz:

Based on your life experience, Which is true?

A) Motivation follows action consistently. 

B) Action only follows motivation randomly


Based on your experience, Which is also true?
 
A) Suffering needs to be fixed in order to start working.

B) You can take a small step without feeling like it.

What if instead of buying into that idea that you need to fix a feeling, or even instead of waiting to feel interested or motivated, you chose to do one tiny thing toward that value? 

Suppose you try that. You go to the brink of taking action and then noticed that you withdraw. A twinge of fear showed up. In response, you could try again. Or you could distract yourself from the promise to take action. In order to distract yourself, your mind might deny that you care about the value under the goal altogether. Instead it will devote energy to avoiding anything that reminds you of your values. Social media, News, Rehashing an argument with someone that went terribly; anything will do the job.

So, you’re ready to try something new and the mind says something like: “I can’t do it now.” And then your mind buys into that thought and tells you to give up. Or your mind asks: "What if I find myself overwhelmed and can’t even remember the strategies?" 

The anxious mind assumes that means that either these skills are a failure or you are a failure. That isn’t because either answer is true; in fact, both answers are wrong. These answers come up because your mind is still a problem solving machine thats looking for work to do. It is protecting you from future problems and it will keep doing this even after a solution appears.  In fact, the mind might try to think of all of the new problems that could be part of the solution. Normal cognition sometimes invents problems just so that it can try to solve them. 

Here is what you can do when you feel stuck. 

1. Remind yourself that the anxiety means it both matters to you and that provides you with the opportunity to fail. If it were risk free and easy, it would be done.

2. Take the feeling with you. If you wait for the anxiety to go away before you start, you may never start. Confidence or happiness may or may not follow either, but at least you will have made some progress toward your goals.. Taking the feeling with you means that you act because it's consistent with your values, not because it feels good.

3. Try something that you’ve tried before that has worked. You can’t possibly learn every possible strategy out there. If it still doesn't work, try a second solution. Trying a new solution is still acting on your values, regardless of how small of a step you take.

4. Finally, seek help from others. Friends, family, an AcademicSkills.Coach, or co-workers, could help hold you accountable to starting. When they're not around, sit in a place where people tend to work, such as a cafe, and try "body doubling." Body doubling means you work when someone else is working and take a break when you notice that they take a break.

Good luck getting started.